- I would say t_trauma is a form of t_stigma, but deeper, more impactful
- stigma — stems from PIP and bonus
- “esteem” and 1stAid are positive, but 1stAid have immediate impact.
Many of these posts are a subset of PIP or Mgr^Contractor. My self-esteem crisis is invariably triggered by these two sources, but ..
.. in terms of severity PIP is 10x heavier than peer comparison.
See also ## PIP hazard=worse than kids,BMI,BGC..
“Bad things happen to all of us. What counts is our reaction.” — first hard from a PWM contractor from India.
I don’t want a big tabular analysis… Perhaps just focus on how fast I regained strength. Resilience and robust are big words in my vocabulary. Self-esteem is important too, but optimism is more important.
- “C” is my self-rating of My reactions to PIP —- traumatized 惊弓之鸟. too long-lasting, too personal, too ruminative. It /cast too long a shadow/ over my long-term career planning and job choices.
- 🙂 However, I am always courageous and resilient to take up the challenge right after the PIP, and focus on work.
- ——- all other reactions are more calm, resilient or even robust ——-
- “B ” my reaction to high-flier classmates —- I continue to fight the irrational , illogical reaction. The harm is much light than PIP reaction.
- “BBB ” My reaction to U.S. and Singapore immigration issues —- a little drawn out. I worried for quite a long time, proportional to the level of complexity. But I was calm and focused on the problem.
- “BBB ” My reaction to the trespass —- severe for the first few days but I managed to shrug it off after lots of research online.
- “BB ” My reaction to kids’ academic difficulties, weight problem, —- a bit Pessimistic, but much lighter in comparison to PIP. I managed to detach myself emotionally and grow my resilience.
- “AAA ” My reaction to investment foes —- shows a sign of strength. Resilience. I shrugged it off most of the time and focused on work.
- “A ” My reaction to rejections by women —- not robust not positive. I kinda acknowledged that I have a high standard and I wasn’t so attractive on the ‘market’. I think that was fairly realistic.
- “BBB+”My reaction to the underwhelming quant prospect, my poor ROI —- realistic and negative. I didn’t complain for long. I accepted it and put it aside.
- “AA ” My reaction to my c# ROI —- calm. I remain confident about my c#.
- “AAA ” my reaction to the perceived gap behind coding test pros. I renew my effort without over-thinking
“AAA ” my reaction to contract terminations at Citi —- positive. I wasted no time. No self-pity.
- “AAA+”My reactions to repeated interview rejections — always robust and positive. I get right back on the horse after I fall.
Your endured a traumatic episode without a job for months. I had, on a smaller scale, traumatic experiences under managers who don’t appreciate my effort and demanded improvement in performance. I felt like damaged goods.
I now believe these traumatic experiences shape an individual’s outlook, to put it mildly. In each individual’s career, there’s only one (or two) defining experience. These singular experiences tend to leave a long and deep scar in our psyche.
In my career, the biggest pain is not job loss. In fact, as I said last time, in hind sight my job loss was a positive turning point. My biggest pains were always negative performance reviews. I’m so scared and scarred that I now assign a disproportionate value to manager’s assessment, and basically ignore other people’s assessment, and ignore the level of difficulty of my role. What I ignore are crucial factors. Ignoring them is an irrational decision and leads to distorted perception of myself relative to coworkers.
I developed naive, knee-jerk reactions that as soon as I get a negative assessment from manager, I immediately see myself as damaged goods, of inferior quality and incompetent, when in reality the role expectation could be wholly unsuitable for me. Imagine you are expected to give salesy presentations to upper management and you are seen as not persuasive not technical enough.