##deeply felt Priorities b4 U.S.→SG@45 #big-picture

  1. — priorities over the next 2-10Y horizon
  2. Career[a] longevity till 70, probably on wall st, not in Singapore or West Coast. A related keyword is “relevance” to the tech economy.
    1. On Wall St, I continue to keep a keen focus on robust technologies like core Java, cpp, SQL, sockets, core threading, common data structures. Outside Wall st, jxee (and possibly web stacks) offers the best market depth and demand.
    2. Compared to Wall St, West coast is possibly low priority for now as I don’t see long term visibility.
  3. my wellness — Need to guard against PIP-hell, trapped… A “stability factor” arguably more impactful than GC, housing, schooling… One of the key signs of wellness is weight and calorie count.
  4. boy’s education — I don’t know if U.S. system is better for him
  5. GC — a G5 priority in my current plan, primarily on the back of the longevity factor.
  6. — 2nd tier
  7. increase precious time with grand parents — fly business class to NY.
  8. preparing for war at new job — short-term, immediate but actionable.
  9. wife’s and daughter’s life-chances in U.S. — important but not much I can do now
  10. more passive income to reduce the cash flow stress
  11. Saving up for U.S. housing — not much I can do now.
  12. I now have a deep desire but limited hope to keep up my 细水长流 motivation for coding drill and QQ learning. Burning pleasure; self-esteem; satisfaction; absorbency.
  13. leaving a good impression with MS manager

[a] I didn’t say “income”. I think more important to me is my marketability (+ relevance, in-demand ..). Career longevity is the basis of entire family’s well-being for 15Y until kids start working.

Salary — is kinda secondary because the room for improvement is negligible in my biased mental picture.

salary has arguably smallest impact@family well-being

sometimes I feel 20k lower salary doesn’t affect my self-esteem or family well-being.

In contrast, stigma/respect/coworkerBenchmark, commute, workload have bigger impact on family well-being

stigma has heaviest impact on self-esteem

##%%comfortable position among peers

##[19] living%%dream life, here-n-now is more useful because I need to progressively shift my focus away from peer-comparison. and focus more on comparison to my past.

We instinctively know, to varying degrees, where we stand among our chosen peer group. On some games I feel I am unlikely to improve my relative standing, so I need to reconcile:
* kids academics
* brank — I didn’t say “income”
* double income, white-collar wife

On other “fronts”, I feel confident to maintain my comfortable position relative to peers:

  1. (  roughly ranked by surprise ! )
  2. sg citizenship — low-cost health care, car-free, property tax
  3. work-till-70, life-long learning, access to age-friendly job markets
  4. stable marriage, valuable support from grandparents
  5. lower fear of job loss, lower work stress .. thanks to contract
  6. wellness
  7. mobility across multiple job markets
  8. home ownership — low maintenance
  9. top college — relaxed attitude towards and some insight
  10. coding IV — benchmarked against my age group on Wall St
  11. QQ IV beyond coreJava — c++, c# ..
  12. cashflow — burn rate, retirement planning, ffree

## nothing to be proud of ] %% life@@

See also [2] ##4 qualities I admire in%%peers #!!status and
[1] ##envy Them constantly; !!celebrat`family,achievements..

Once a while in a young person’s life she(he) find herself (rather than her life) despicable in every way —

  • studies
  • dating
  • body image
  • fitness
  • team sports, not part of any “gang”
  • ….When we grow older we have some of these same “whiplashes” + some new whiplashes, which we use to beat ourselves up:
  • profession
  • home location, home size, school district
  • personal investments including properties
  • monthly saving rate
  • plenty of life-chances available to me throughout my life

I think in such a situation we desperately need concrete, tangible evidence of personal achievement (not necessarily visible to other people). Here are some evidence to congratulate myself and defend myself against the whipping:

  • wife and kids — see [1]
  • SGP citizenship — see [1]
  • education credentials — see [1]
  • personal finance — see [1]
  • profession — see the first list in [1]
  • knowledge + experience about diet and wellness — see [2]
  • introspective or expressive writing and blogging — as a versatile coping, self-improvement, self-discovery device
    • English proficiency — I struggled for years and now I’m able to use English for expressive writing — something unimaginable in my teenage years.