- I would say t_trauma is a form of t_stigma, but deeper, more impactful
- stigma — stems from PIP and bonus
- “esteem” and 1stAid are positive, but 1stAid have immediate impact.
Many of these posts are a subset of PIP or Mgr^Contractor. My self-esteem crisis is invariably triggered by these two sources, but ..
.. in terms of severity PIP is 10x heavier than peer comparison.
This time my TSN attitude is not driven by fear of stagnation, but a free-spirited, fun-seeking desire to explore.
My past TSN failures (and some successes) are the best guide. Given the multiple TSN failures, my expectation is rather low. However, the pain of stigma , confidence loss, impact on family can still be very real. That’s why I wrote in my blog that the safest job is back office java+SQL+scripting with low-calibre colleagues.
- #1 risk of high workload due to faster colleagues .. see 2 heaviest work stressors
- #2 risk of damaged goods(self-esteem, stigma ..) but is this fair and valid — see dare2fail: trySomethingNew@@
- perf improvement pain and other heavy stressors — I overestimated my
raw intelligence and survival skill
- ..but I feel the above risks are not unique to TSN.
- risk of underwhelming experience with the new tech
- but .. most new technologies are underwhelming anyway
- risk of give-up like c#, msfm and swing. I wished c# and quant dev jobs would grow, swing would remain popular.
- but .. big-data java is not one of those shrinking markets 🙂
- but .. I don’t have much to lose anyway.
- risk of worthless sacrifice in terms of salary, family time etc
- but .. a c++ or frontOffice java job may also hurt.
- —- earlier items listed in the defining blogpost
- risk of low strategic market value, as explained in ##trySomethingNew but !! strategicOrgro #defined #in-depth
- risk of poor traction, even though it’s something new! See ##what actually determined%%past job satisfaction
immediately after I joined Macq, I realized I have traded up for a better job, better in every way.
- gain: self-confidence that I can comfortably handle the ensuing financial impact on family
- gain: self-confidence that I have survived again, albeit with a scar
- gain: a protective scar — as of 2019 I’m still traumatized but slowly I’m healing from inside
- gain: lesson learned the hard way — avoid FTE
- $gain: compensation package more than covered my bench time but still I prefer the … something else instead of the compensation
Update — if I avoid the coworker-benchmarking, then I don’t mind sacrificing some income.
Q: Do you prefer a job (under a boss) you are comfortable with, at a typical IT salary? Or do you prefer a job with above-average income, but demanding, suppressive(like Sourabh) boss? In both cases, let’s assume long term job security is average (far from ideal), workload is reasonable, commute is average.
A : I’d favor the income if it’s more than $1k/m diff, but not sure if I can cope with the unfriendly environmental factors.
A: in early 2018 I chose Mvea team. No regret so far
Health + employability(security) are my real, long term priorities, not “premium” salary. My parents keep reminding me the damage of long-term workplace stress…
Recall the GS/Macquarie experience – workload, job nature, security…. but all are mild compared to performance warnings.
A: now I feel $2k/m will bribe me.