• I would say t_trauma is a form of t_stigma, but deeper, more impactful
  • stigma — stems from PIP and bonus
  • “esteem” and 1stAid are positive, but 1stAid have immediate impact.

Many of these posts are a subset of PIP or Mgr^Contractor. My self-esteem crisis is invariably triggered by these two sources, but ..

.. in terms of severity PIP is 10x heavier than peer comparison.


sg19: risks@tsn

This time my TSN attitude is not driven by fear of stagnation, but a free-spirited, fun-seeking desire to explore.

My past TSN failures (and some successes) are the best guide. Given the multiple TSN failures, my expectation is rather low. However, the pain of stigma , confidence loss, impact on family can still be very real. That’s why I wrote in my blog that the safest job is back office java+SQL+scripting with low-calibre colleagues.

##gains{Stirt job loss

immediately after I joined Macq, I realized I have traded up for a better job, better in every way.

  • gain: self-confidence that I can comfortably handle the ensuing financial impact on family
  • gain: self-confidence that I have survived again, albeit with a scar
  • gain: a protective scar — as of 2019 I’m still traumatized but slowly I’m healing from inside
  • gain: lesson learned the hard way — avoid FTE
  • $gain: compensation package more than covered my bench time but still I prefer the … something else instead of the compensation

[13]choose income^easy life #damagedGood

Update — if I avoid the coworker-benchmarking, then I don’t mind sacrificing some income.

Q: Do you prefer a job (under a boss) you are comfortable with, at a typical IT salary? Or do you prefer a job with above-average income, but demanding, suppressive(like Sourabh) boss? In both cases, let’s assume long term job security is average (far from ideal), workload is reasonable, commute is average.

A [2013]: I’d favor the income if it’s more than $1k/m diff, but not sure if I can cope with the unfriendly environmental factors.

A: in early 2018 I chose Mvea team. No regret so far

Health + employability(security) are my real, long term priorities, not “premium” salary. My parents keep reminding me the damage of long-term workplace stress…

Recall the GS/Macquarie experience – workload, job nature, security…. but all are mild compared to performance warnings.

A[2018]: now I feel $2k/m will bribe me.