so-called visible progress: Unreasonable expectations

Every week, I actually make more progress than my fellow daddies with kids and commute etc. However, Once a while, in retrospect I would fall apart and belittle and cast doubt on my progress and point out the (unfortunately invisible) long-term effect.

Putting on a critical thinker’s hat, I feel that for most guys in my situation, it’s no mean achievements to maintain current condition and make small progress, with invisible long-term effect. Anything more is asking too much, and requires luck, talent, determination, contexx etc.

  • –ranked by …? I want to highlight the unsung heroes…
  • cholesterol, dental, belly and weight? maintaining is no mean achievement
  • loving relationship with wife? maintained, even strengthened
  • relationship with in-laws? improved, as visible long term progress. More important — relationship with my own parents maintained
  • boy’s renzi and Chinese reading? improved slightly. Not really long term visible progress but at least he maintained
  • physical flexibility? maintained .. yes! Improvement? yes some, with huge effort
  • stamina? maintained … no mean achievement
  • financial domain knowledge? I expanded to FX; market data; low-latency equity; FIX exchange trading…. Visible progress but shallow.
  • algo and coding test performance?
  • bonding with kids? constantly building, deepening… Not by default, but by effort.
  • c++/c# conquered as a visible long term progress. Probably more important — java skill level maintained.
  • financial assets (mostly holding well against inflation)? yes visible progress but I tend to belittle it. Building this portfolio actually required persistent effort, years of analysis, experiments, ..

self-hate due to hearsay 300k salary #XR

.. You seem to feel the (hearsay) income level of 300k is the minimum you need to feel good about yourself. In that case, your worry and negative self-assessment about income is misaligned with reality.

A bit of real statistics to chew on – rank all countries by GDP per-capita. Most of the top 10 richest countries have population below 9 million including Switzerland and most of the Northern Europe countries.

Q: How many countries are richer than U.S. *and* with a population above 20 million?
Answer: zero. Japan, Germany, UK, France,  … are all less rich than the U.S. Now, I believe you don’t want to compare with developing countries like China, Korean, Taiwan, India, let’s first focus on rich countries —

  • I believe half the American families earn less than 60k combined income, so do you think half the American families are struggling to survive every day?
  • I would estimate (based on my knowledge) more than half the *families* across the rich countries earn less than USD 60k, but you are implying that a single income of 300k is the minimum you need?
  • USD 300k single income would put you in the top 2% in any rich country, but you feel that’s the minimum you need?
  • USD 300k is higher than at least half the doctors’ and lawyers’ income across the rich countries, so you seem to say most doctors and lawyers are struggling to survive based on their income
  • My wife’s income is about SGD 30k. A regular teacher’s salary in Singapore is about SGD 50k. Singapore is, by most rankings, more affluent than the U.S. and teachers are a large, white-collar workforce. By your standard, even a 500% increase in a Singapore teacher’s income would still be too low for you.
  • In one of the most expensive cities of our world – London, a USD 300k salary would be top 2%. I know from many sources that London finance IT salary is lower than New York. A 700-pound daily contract rate is “extremely rare” (unheard of to many people) but it works to be only USD 230k, but you would think that’s not enough to survive. Mind you, London is more expensive than New York.
  • Some would say London is still cheaper than … Hongkong. A UBS VP position I tried was at HKD 1.2 million, about half your minimum standard.
  • I have friends in Shanghai and Beijing – the most expensive Chinese cities (along with Shenzhen). A 300k USD salary would be one in 500 jobs over there, but you think it’s barely enough for you. They would guess you live in a city where home price is 10 times higher than Shanghai/Beijing but in reality, your home is more affordable — A comparable apartment (not a 2-storey house with backyard) in Beijing/Shanghai would cost at least USD 1.5 million.

You are living in an ivory tower (and refusing to step out to the real world) if you hold on to that irrational and negative view. You sound like a guy complaining about his 10-room, 3-story mansion. It’s not depression but hallucination.

If you carry this habit into parenting, then beware — your kids could be top of their class but you may still feel they are not good enough because they didn’t win a gold medal. Would be tragic. I think Chinese parents are demanding but most are not at that level. We love our kids and accept them. We ought to love and accept ourselves.

I recommend [[compassion and self-hate]] by Theodore Issac Rubin, my favorite American self-help writer. His books changed my life. I feel good to know he is now 95. I’m grateful to Dr Rubin; I’m grateful to my dad; I’m grateful to Buddhism teachings; and I’m grateful when I answer your questions — I often get a chance to look into myself. I thank our creator to give me the analytical powers (though not as powerful as Dr Rubin) to dissect the layers and uncover the core issues in my psyche. As I endeavor to answer your questions I often reach a deeper understanding of my own pains, stupidity, irrationality and unfairness to myself and love ones.

why I said you looked too dissatisfied #XR

聊天每 10次 觉得你有5 次(太多 🙂 流露对自己的处境严重不满。这方面我们俩类似, 所以我也有同感。正因如此, 我觉得你没必要这么不满意, 更不必苦闷。

从没听你提到你父亲。我父亲这方面给我宝贵的指点. 更重要是, 反复指点 — 我的思维习惯好难改变, 我一直有独立思考的性格和信心, 真固执 , 甚至顽固不化。我感激他不厌其烦指出我的愚人自扰.

光感激没啥用. 更重要的是 我被他的智慧和耐心逐渐地感化, 认识到自己并非顽固不化。

你我对很多问题的看法差异都与我父亲相关。比如学区;比如名校招生偏向弱族;比如各国教育系统哪个更成功; 比如对孩子评估过早…

还是说个人事业吧. 我深感自己 IQ/EQ 有限, 实在没必要和高薪的技术人员比.(更不要去比管理型人才). 所以我说目前处境不错, 偷笑还来不及.

刷题并不一定要有经济效益 — 比如拿个硅谷 或是高频 顶级公司聘约. 我比较重视能力提高,技能积累. 几年候 就算积累效果不佳, 我也希望能做到心安理得.

我的 UChicago 硕士读下来这个状况, 心安理得 着实不容易 . 我的总结 — 金融数学职位太少而且要求比我能力高, 薪水不一定比程序员高多少, 也没有 Contract 可言. 没法发挥我 (和 CSDoctor) coding 方面的特长和经验. 所以说 2013 年选择这个硕士课程, 实情了解得不够. 上了船才知道。

这次惨痛的经历决定了我对各种新技术新领域的谨慎, 徘徊, 举足不前.

既然我不看好这些领域的”钱”途, 我也没你那么不满现状. 话说回来,

* i’m good at scripting/SQL/data-processing compared to other developers I know;
* I like analyzing complex data, with attention to details;
* I have formal math training including statistics

So IF there’s some high-paying domain for me, I am open to it. That’s a big IF. The way I see it, most of those data analyst jobs are not paying well. If it pays well, it would be too hard to get in.

irrational envy for all-round high flyer peers

When I first identify an acquaintance as an all-round high flyer, his (her) “note-worthy” achievements were invariablly rather few, thanks to my automatic filter on his other “success” stories … becasue those kinds of “successes” are, at a deep and personal level, unimportant to me. But then those things insidiously sneak past my defence into my inferiority complex and /infest/. Extremely irrational and 不值得.

I would rather feel inferior to someone (I know well) with many unrelated yet worthy achievements [3]. I doubt there’s any in my circle.

Incidentally, when a public speaker is introduced on stage, the audience often hear a list of “successes” which are mostly unimportant to me.

(Even though none of them is a friend I know well enough) Over the years there were a small number of acquaintances [1] I have singled out. Once I singe one out, I tend to lose my critical thinking and see many unimportant/insignificant/secondary “achievements” as enviable. Critical thinking is badly, badly needed at such a juncture!

Incidentally, one of the most effective ways to feel not-inferior is a lucrative job offer, even if I don’t take it.

The initial “enviable achievements” are usually one of these 5
1) income, almost always managerial [2]
2) investment, mostly property
3) beautiful wife
* fitness, flexibility and body shape
* short commute

The other factors are usually (as they should) in my “don’t-care/unimportant-to-me” list, but they sneak into my inferiority complex.

* (multiple) degreed from prestigous universities? Actually most of them are inferior to me!
* academic kids
* competitions and awards to himself or kids
* branded employers? many of them have fewer than mine
* running his own side business? I did while many of them didn’t
* wife professional career
* work-life balance… “easy job”? Questionable. Most high-paying jobs require effort
* writing and music skills? I achieved more than most of them!
* publications
* cars? is a liability not an asset!
* green card
* vacations to many places? Huge cost, no real gain for me
* magerial success at an erly age
* golf skills? i couldn’t care less when I’m not losing my critical thinking.
* networking skill, smooth personality? I’m not this type

[2] as soon as I hear the MD title of some ex-classmate, I lose my critical thinking defence.

Better consider [[compassion and self hate]] and Buddhist teaching

[1] Beside ML, Here are some questionable names. Many of them I barely know the name and job title, so my inferiority is fundamentally similar to my infatuation over the Indonesian girl Sandy, whom I spoke to fewer than 3 times.
* Lu Nuo — I only know he has a writing hobby …
* Cai Hongyu
* Tao YY — I don’t really know how he is doing
* Yang Yang
* Xie Xiaoli

[3] briefly on myself — math, piano, c#, swing, properties, blog, helping friends with job hunting

fixation@ROTI : too result-oriented

fixation@ROTI/payoff/success/result/accu … dampens job satisfaction+joy@learning.

This affects my “engagement”. Granted, we should not Ignore these ROTI factors, or those “smells” … instead we should evaluate our direction and take stock, but let’s not overdo it.

  • +ve Eg: Barcap option math
  • +ve Eg: Barcap swing learning
  • +ve Eg: RTS socket programming
  • -ve Eg: git
  • -ve Eg: curve building
  • -ve Eg: WCF

Consider a tour guide aiming for the tip at the end.
Consider Grandpa in his research career.
Consider a singer like 王杰 or the last few years of 邓丽君。

Q: has that increased your income or benchmark score? # more time in office, shorter commute, MSFM, c# ….

  1. This question can be posed to grandpa.
  2. This question can be posed to any education institute including the “top schools 名校”. Ironically the same questioners seem to be /fixated/ on these top schools for their kids. So for these people, this question is self-contradictory.
  3. This question can be posed to my friends engaged in quantitative investment analysis.

This question is harmful, misleading, derogatory, discriminatory, browbeating, pessimistic/fatalistic, myopic, … This question tosses aside many important things to our lives, our joys, and satisfaction —

  • career safety net
  • exploration of personal talents and personal interests
  • “in-demand” satisfaction
  • market depth
  • mobility between firms
  • freedom — I don’t want to feel “trapped”
  • observation (even conviction) on various topics, based on in-depth personal research

self-help industry: your life is stuck in a rut

The self-help industry’s messages (SMS) resonates with me.

  • burn or rot
  • I often feel a lack of direction
  • i often feel my spare time is not productive
  • I often feel left behind on the slow track, but most of us are, anywhere I look, including the managers.
  • I often feel I’m not living life to the full
  • I often feel I’m not growing, learning anything new, but it’s the norm
  • When I feel my life is “not that bad”, the self-help industry would question me “Really?”
    • marketable skill — i feel lucky that I moved into finance tech, but a non-finance job like telecom would be fine too.
    • marketable skill — I feel it’s good that I moved out perl into java with MktDepth…
    • marketable skill — I feel lucky to discovery personal strengths in lowLevel java/c++/threading/unix…
    • I feel good about the father’s job I’m doing
    • I feel good about my investments
    • I feel good about my Singapore home and my commute
    • I feel 80% good about my healthy lifestyle
    • (just a brief subset relevant to this topic)

GS, Mac: 1-year contract would have been 5x less painful

My first year at GS and first year at Macquarie were very positive experience. If these were contracts and somehow it ends after 1 year, then I would have positive experiences.

Even with the OC experience, I could say that as a contractor, I would not have received such negative feedback. I would probably end the first year on a positive note and leave.

What if my 95G, Barclays, RTS had converted to perm roles? I don’t know.

j4 stick2c++: Score big{losing@quant/c#

See also vindicative specializations , what if I transition to desk quant role but don’t rise up@@ and j4 c#: hind sight

I already give up several “investments”. If I take a java job, I would again forgo so many years of investment in c++. Now after I got more c++ offers, I feel /triumphant/vindicative/.

swing py c# quant 2010~13 quant af 2013 c/c++  (Zoom out …)
 $0 $0  $0 S$70k $ invested
 $0 $0 S$5k/Y  $0 $1k/Y cf
nonQuant job
up to USD20k/Y pretax opportunity cost
6M 2Y since barc 2Y  1Y 3Y 6Y since 1998 nominal effort
3M 4M 1Y  6M 2.5Y 3Y serious effort incl. STS
3M 2M 1M  2M 2Y 1.5Y spare time sacrificed(STS)
-2 -3 -6  -5 #more than py -15 -15 points invested
Barx passed some IVs OC, Bbg, Reuters 95G/OC Stirt/Mac/CVA ~14 offers job “offers”
Trex,bbg..  -> DRW; Nomura; Mako; Trex; Pimco analytics many help interviews
helps my WPF xx value@algo IV deepens java nlg  -> brain teasers; math cfd; contrarian
insight into bigData/quantTrading;
deepens java nlg other ROTI
2 more than
3 #built real
professional xp
 3 9 #50%+ more than invested points SCORED
 no loss? no loss -3 -2 -7 no loss net points lost

%% poor accu ] quantDev: Sg+U.S.

My past experiences are underwhelming. I thought that once I become experienced and proven in quant dev domain, things will be easier and I could move from one job to another. Wrong!

  • Barclays? helped me get into OC since OC interviewers are interested in how things are done in Barclays. Didn’t really help me go anywhere else
  • Stirt? helped me a bit with Mac interview
  • MSFM? didn’t help me get anywhere, partly because I didn’t try.

OC/Stirt/Mac gave me no insight no breakthrough in my understanding no thick->thin->thick

The number of quant dev positions is much fewer than in market data!

widely in-use, no longer quizzed #spring/Apache..

I see a pattern — a new technology is getting adopted and quizzed in-depth at interviews. After 5 years, it is still a favorite, perhaps dominant solution, but 1) the know-how has become common knowledge and candidates are assumed to know it and 2) usage is now standardized and simplified, so the “bar” is lower, and candidates without the knowledge can easily pick it up.

No more in-depth questions needed. Therefore, time previously invested here is wasted, since only superficial knowledge is required now.

  1. Eg: spring/hibernate
  2. Eg: java servlets and JSP — From 1999 to 2008 these topics were heavily quizzed. Still widely in use but often invisible.
  3. Eg: Apache web server — In 2000 I was asked a lot on Apache details. Apache is still very popular. See
  4. Eg: php — still widely used, but I feel not asked a lot. See
  5. Eg: xml parsing — I used to get in-depth questions about DOM or SAX etc. Now I believe xml is still widely used
  6. Eg: web services, SOA, SOAP — Still very much in use
  7. Eg: HTTP protocol details like GET/POST, status codes
  8. Eg: Maven and Ant

Most of my examples are in the high-churn domains like Internet, mobile. I believe the same will happen to interview questions on big data, javascript, Android, iOS , blockchain, ..

The opposite list — some essential technologies underlying multiple technology waves were never heavily quizzed, but, after the waves subsided, remain rather relevant to many niche interviews.

  • SQL query — joins, subquery, case, ..
  • SQL and DB tuning
  • Unix automation — It can take years to become reasonably competent with all of bash, piping, subshells, trap, shell functions, string operators, file manipulation, and top 30 Unix commands
  • Unix system administration
  • Pthreads, a POSIX standard C library
  • http client programming
  • regular expression
  • Inter-Process-Communication
  • Java servlet session management
  • Java serialization
  • Java reflection

— You write —
There are still many projects using Spring. My current project is also using Spring, but it’s modified by internal team to create an internal framework. When people discuss in meeting, they say “Spring” to refer to this framework. But there are many pitfalls when I use it. To name a few:

  1. a) restful service is easy to implement in spring, ust add related annotations, but it doesn’t work, and after I spent a few days of research, I gave up and choose to use a internally created annotation.
  2. b) some configurations doesn’t work, parameters couldn’t be passed in. I still don’t know what’s the reason. The internal framework code is not accessible for other teams developers, so I don’t think it worth to spent more time to try to figure out.

For this project using Spring, the interview only mentioned this project is using Spring, but didn’t ask any questions about Spring.

For last year, I went through 5 interviews, 2 mentioned the projects are using Spring, and only one client asked some Spring questions.

I recall 5 years ago, 8/10 will ask spring and hibernate questions. Now, still a few clients asked Spring questions, but none asked Hibernate questions.


donut bonus often precedes job loss#XR

I won’t talk about my personal experiences (too painful) but in general, a donut bonus often means

You are free to go

You are the weakest member of the team

You are not qualified not competent for the role

You will be assigned some unimportant shitty work

You need to improve or get out of here

You are classified as “damaged goods”.

If you choose to remain, you may get increasingly harsh treatment, until you move on.

You may not have the option to stay here and remain an organization deadweight

However, if 1/3 of the team members get donut bonus, then it’s normal and not so bad.

##5 long^short-term stressors

Short-term stressors

  • best examples: sickness; quarrel; deadlines; something broken
  • mgr’s assessment; respect from team; figure-things-out speed
  • stagnation, wasting my “potential”
  • —-poor examples
  • GC progress
  • peer comparison
  • BMI

10Y long-term concerns

  • retirement planning
  • kids’ well-being
  • kids’ academic benchmark
  • employability and income stability
    • competence in job^interview; beat-fronts
  • Some peers at my age worry about health but I’m free from that worry.


## +ve keywords]%%annual reviews

I really don’t want to care too much about manager’s comments. Those comments tend to hurt deeply. They often reflect the manager’s personal agenda, never a balanced/unbiased view. The keyword list is designed to counter some of the negative comments.

  • [zed, catcha] versatile, broad-based
  • [GS] ownership
  • [GS] client relationship
  • [GS, Chartered] attention to details
  • [GS] code quality. I was asked to present and publish
  • [GS, Mansion] technical strength
  • [GS, Barc] analytical
  • well-planned
  • [Barc, GS] knowledge sharing
  • [Barc, GS] personal sacrifices
  • [95G] architecture design
  • [Mac] good at team working across departments
  • [Mac] adaptive to new tech; fast learning


Both mental stress and physical stress. Let’s take a step back and compare the stress intensity during job hunt vs GTD stress on the job.

Many people say it’s too stressful and tiring to keep interviewing compared to a long-term job in a big company. Well, I blogged many times that I need to keep interviewing…. The stress is so far manageable.

On a regular job, the GTD stress levels range from 5 to 7 on a scale of 10 (Donald Trump on women;). Often rise to 8.

Became 9 or 10 whenever (as FTE) boss gave a negative feedback. I know from several past experiences. In contrast, contract projects felt much better.

(To be fair, I did improve after the negative feedback.)

During my job hunt including the challenging Singapore lap, my stress level felt like 4 to 7, but often positive stress, perhaps due to positive progress and positive energy.

Conclusion — I always felt more confident on the open market than recovering from setback on a job.

0%ROTI: perl,php,mysql,javascript..really@@

2000 – 2002 are the first few years I spent in IT and had a deep impact on my outlook. However, there are many overstatements:

  • Too early to say — javascript had a surprise revival, even on Wall St! I have not decided to go back there.
  • Too early to say — perl was widely used on Wall St and was a key factor to my survival in GS.
  • SQL — skills I acquired in GS is not completely irrelevant. Many (financial etc) systems still use it. Perhaps less used on west coast in web 2.0 shops.
  • php — investment was not 100% lost. It did provide me a job at NBC. I think this is still a valuable skill on west coast. My php confidence is an asset.
  • mysql — investment was not completely lost. I would say my mysql experience gave me enough confidence and competence to take on other database systems.
  • apache — investment gave me valuable insight into network servers. I think apache is still widely used outside Wall St.


techies do quit finance

I have seen several cases, for various reasons I may not know so well. I would say not every likes/tolerates the higher pressure, high workload or the lack of creativity in the typical Wall St tech job. Some can get things done but don’t like it.

  • Many Wall St move “higher” to pure tech firms.
  • Y Li moved from M1 (or another telecom firm) to BofA and left after 2 or 3 years.
  • J Ji went to Murex, then some software vendor, then BofA but left after just 1 or 2 years.
  • Park (GS PWM CPDB team) went from Bloomberg to GS, but lasted just 1 year plus. I think he left for some university. He might return to finance.
  • Q Li moved from OC to UOB but didn’t feel good. I think she may join another bank soon.

labels: cope^pain^threat^GTD

I would say choose one among

gzCope, gzPain, gzThreat, GTD

In rare cases, use simultaneous categories.

Also, the relevant posts in the pripri/open blogs, I feel better move to this blog and mark them private. Easier to manage in one place.

GTD is more specific than Cope. In a sense, all GTD posts are also part of Cope but actually Cope is more about job market, moving up, choosing specializations.

Fwd: techies’ common complaints about jobs

label: orig, z_job

Hi friends,

Most techies (including developers) probably feel undervalued, and

have a lot of potential not utilized on the current job.

We blame our company or our team or our job. Maybe it's too easy;

maybe it's too repetitive; maybe it's too niche. We look up at some

high flyer and ask “what if I'm given that role… I may not do better

than that person, but surely I will be competent and up to the job. It

may be boring and stressful but Hey I will earn so much more!”

In many over-staffed IT departments, about 20% of the roles are

critical and some 20% of the roles are dedicated to “peripheral”

systems that no business users care about. Perhaps that system is

lightly used, and users don't trust the output anyway.

Well, my current job gives me a lot of opportunities to push myself

higher. It's not too niche (like Quartz/Athena/SecDB). It offers

complexity and depth. Not mindless and repetitive. Not something I

feel already too familiar with (and jaded). I can see the impact

quickly. The impact is on many people. The impact is on front office.

Still I'm not so fired-up. I guess there are always better roles out

there. Better condition our mind not to think that way. Instead make

the best use of the current role. “When life gives you lemons, make


Wall St productivity + risk@losing job

label: threat,
Productivity issue is usually in the first 6 months. (i feel OC was not too hard. I was learning fast, though not superfast.) Some say “2 months”? I tend to feel that I form an opinion of a tech colleague within a month, but it's not always fair. If someone is fast learning, he may lose interest quickly.
I guess boss assesses how much value you add to his promotion prospect. Staff is seldom let go primarily due to productivity. Exceptions:

1) contractors — even if you are good
2) head count pressure — someone must go
Even thought it's probably not life or death, it's not good to be considered unproductive. Poor image, poor rapport, low self-esteem, ..

Here's a positive story — in GS I took more than a year to come up to speed.

teach your kid – interest in finance subjects, !! just salary

If we focus on the salary, interviews .. then the learning interest won’t last. In addition, it’s worthwhile to develop interest in the subjects….

Some subjects in finance are dirty, shallow, pointless, superfluous (same in technology ;-). Some subjects are about gambling. I won’t elaborate further. Instead, Identify those areas with depth and worth studying.

Financial math subjects have depth. However, some of those stochastic subjects feel like too theoretical and ivory tower, and too removed from reality to be relevant. I feel the statistics subjects are more practical.

There are many books …

return to sg as a West Coast programmer@@ too niche

Upshot: I feel the dev (coding) experience in West Coast would be even less relevant in Singapore.

Financial domain tech skills are considered niche. West coast is even more so.

A realistic scenario — what if I specialize in php or big data? Extremely rare tech roles to match the US salary. I think the 2016 Zaobao article  interviewed some of these techies.

The type of tech skill considered in-demand and “upstream” in the US (c++, quant dev, core java not non-J2EE..) is probably too niche in the Singapore context…

In terms of technical expertise (not management expertise) I think SG needs system integration “specialists” (I consider them generalists) in large government projects.

haunted by negative workplace relations #let2YH

Hi YH,

I too get haunted by criticism, failed relationships (but not those sexual types;) with past coworkers, or my poor  judgement and decisions in past projects.

Q: Was I really as bad as accused?
Q: Did I make such an embarrassing mistake?
Q: Was I more than 50% responsible or there’s another person equally responsible? It takes 2 hard objects to have a clash.
In many cases, I find it tricky to answer these questions objectively, and identify where and how much of blame I deserve. I’m lucky to have a simplistic view —
      “I have always enjoyed good relationships with all my team members under the same manager. Everyone is friendly, nice or at least OK with me. Similarly, all my users liked me. Some colleagues and users even treat me as the best guy in my team.
In reality, if I examine every relationship maybe this is not 100% true, but i’m too lazy, so I never challenge this view. I keep repeating this view to myself and to everyone who asks. This loose view is a rather powerful protection when I feel “haunted”. This view may be naive but it’s an example of a healthy self-image IMO.
Note in this view I don’t single out my boss.  I don’t have such a perfect thing to say about relationships with my past bosses. Still I have another simplistic view that
         “Those managers I had problem with is an unpopular guy. Each has lost more than 1 team member due to the harsh mistreatment he gives. Each is hated by some team members and not respected by many. Basically, each is a difficult boss, but I actually managed to survive and adapt to them for longer than many fellow sufferers.
These simplistic views tend to protect my self-image. It’s important to me. They are like Guardian Angles. I hope they could work for you as well.