http://www.atalasoft.com/cs/blogs/danbarvitsky/archive/2009/01/15/once-again-about-remote-debugging.aspx is the best guide I have found. Some comments —
Firewall – I didn’t need to change anything
— I ran the msvsmon.exe from a share. Just double click to run the exe
** msvsmon.exe need not run-as admin
** msvsmon.exe.config needs no change
** MUST add my name under msvsmon->tool->permission. Repeat in every msvsmon.exe session — Not saved.
— Attach to process
** transport = default
** qualifier = eqdpr@uwsamapos01, where eqdpr is the msvsmon.exe user on the remote
Should see every process — Connected:) Once connected, before attach, msvsmon window will show who connected when.
You can start the remote app before or after Attach.